Tummy Troubles.....

 I bring you this blog for two reasons...  

1:  To maybe help and educate someone else going through something similar - it always helps to be able to relate to things that someone else might be experiencing too, it makes you feel less alone.

2:  I like to write.  I like to perhaps touch on subjects that are not the most pleasant, but in a way that makes it real... human....with humour and truth.

This blog may contain words that are unpleasant or unladylike.  If you know me personally then you will hear me speak them, as that is how I am.  If you don't know me then you won't mind, because if you do you will click off at the first sign of a word like 'shite'.      I have tummy issues and I am not going to use words like 'defecate'  (which I had to use spell-checker on!!)  'Shite' is a much better word, don't you think?   (It might be that you have left already, that's a shame as its going to get much worse  :)

Anyway..... the tummy troubles.   I have had them for a long while now, on and off. Reflux, Indigestion, Pains. 

 Intolerance to dairy was a big one - before I became Vegan that is - I liked a load of cream on my Christmas Pud, and I made sure I had a large enough portion to make sure I had a grumbly tum and aches all Boxing Day.  Then I did it again with the leftovers.   

In the two years I have been Vegan I had said goodbye to that, which was nice, but last year I started with s strange kind of tummy ache, that felt kinda muscular. I would get extremely bloated and it felt almost like I was carrying a full term 9 month baby around in me.  It was heavy, and uncomfortable.  My back would ache, my stomach would ache, and I would feel utterly miserable.  I felt it in my right side back, just under my ribs, like a bad stitch after running the cross-country.  Actually I never made much effort in the school cross-country, but that's a whole other story.

This pain would come and go.  It usually disappeared the morning that I was getting a scan for gall stones or kidney stones. This happened twice. So, of course, nothing was found and I felt like a complete fraud.

So the next time it happened  (9th April 2020) after I had eaten a full white baguette filled with grilled aubergine and vegan cheese  (details are important don't you think?  Especially when it's about food!).. I waited four weeks for it to magically disappear on it's own before deciding to make a Doc appointment.

Now, making a Doc appointment these days (Covid blaming here..) is a task in itself.   It goes something like this...

RING RING

Receptionist.  "Hello, what is the patients name and DOB... blah blah blah"

Me: Answers above questions, then "I'd like an appointment to see a Doctor please"

Receptionist. "We have nothing for today, call back tomorrow at 8.30am"

Me: "This is my 3rd day of calling, I would really like to see someone"

Receptionist:  "Use the online form and someone will email you back"

Me: "I did that.. twice, but when I get to the end, after 10 long minutes, it tells me I need to call the surgery to speak to someone"

Receptionist: "You need to play down your symptoms a bit and then you will get through"

Me:  "Huh".. so my symptoms are too severe to be dealt with by the online form, so I need to 'play them down'?"

Receptionist:  "Is it an emergency, I can put you down for a phone call if it is an emergency"

Me:  "Well, no, not really, but I am in pain, I need to see, or speak, to a Doctor"

Receptionist: "Well I can get them to call you if it is an emergency, otherwise call back tomorrow at 8.30am"

Me: "Ok, it's an emergency"

At this point I cowered down expecting God (or someone) to strike me down for lying.  It certainly wasn't an emergency, but I was really sore and wanted to know what I could do about it.

Receptionist: "I will put you on the call list and someone will call you back this afternoon"

So, the Doc calls and I spend the first few minutes apologising profusely about using the 'emergency' tactic, of which I feel thoroughly ashamed.  I explain the symptoms and get the answer..  "We need to see you, can you come down to the surgery?"  Which is what I wanted in the first place!

Off I trot, have a wee chat with a nurse practitioner, who has a feel of my rumbly tum - which incidentally does not hurt while being prodded and poked, so of course I look like a complete fanny who has made it all up just to get an appointment,  anyway... she books me in for some blood tests in a few days time.....

Watch this space.